Visisonor's blog

Chapter 13

It is said that time heals all wounds. If it’s true, time sure takes its time to do so. And we had quite a fair share of wounds to heal.

The most trivial was Linda’s case: she was injured in a gunfight, and her Robox brought her all the way to the extraction point (the other one stayed behind to hold back the troopers and ultimately self-destructed).

It wasn’t life-threatening, and she was recovering quickly. Linda hasn’t actually known Villa though, and it was hard to tell how much she was affected.

But for the rest of us it was different.

Vera took the brunt of it. Immediately after arrival to the new base she wandered into the first room she could find and locked herself up in there. After sorting through things to do upon arrival I’ve knocked upon her door hoping to talk. But she did not let me in.

- Go away, - Vera yelled through the intercom. - It’s all your fault.
- Vera, I…
- Go away!
That was another blow for me, hurting almost as much as Villa’s loss.

I couldn’t suppress the feeling of guilt, and the fact that Vera felt the same way only reinforced this belief.

The only way I could find to deal with it was plunging into what could have been called work: activating various subsystems of this previously sealed hideout, followed by network and monitoring setup, maintenance and various other chores that did and did not require my attention. Of course syncons could have done all that without my help, but I needed to do something.

Wolf seemed to be faring better than I did, or perhaps his state was harder to read. He took every opportunity to help and support me in all that, so the task of showing him the inner workings of the base - something that Vera did for me back when I was rescued - naturally fell upon me. He didn’t need much convincing, however, after seeing what we all saw.

Several days later, during one of martial arts exercises, Vera finally got out of her self-imposed exile.

We didn’t notice her at first. She stood quietly, leaning against the wall and looking even more miserable than when I last saw her.

- You hate me now, do you… - she stated rather than asked, and turned to leave.
- Vera, wait! - I ran up to her and reached out to stop her.

- I’ve come here to apologize, - she said, her voice shaking, - But I’ll understand if you can’t forgive me.
- You don’t need to… - I tried to assure her, but she didn’t let me finish.
- I can imagine how it feels, - Vera continued quietly, - And it wasn’t fair.

- It wasn’t wrong either, - I argued firmly. - The blame is on me.
- No, - she shook her head. - It was our best chance. We knew the risks. We knew it could go wrong…
Then, in an instant, she broke down in tears and buried her face in my chest.
- It’s all right, - I whispered, also feeling on the verge of crying.

After what seemed like a minute or two, as I stroked her head awkwardly, Vera’s sobs went silent, and she composed herself a bit.

- Silly, isn’t it? - she said with a heavy sigh. - Crying like a teenage girl.
- It’s not silly, - I told her reassuringly. - Better not keep it all inside.

- Y’know, you don’t really look like people indoctrinated into a cult obsessed with destroying humankind, - commented Wolf, who was still standing a few steps away.
- What, you’ve been reading that book about invasion from Alpha Centauri system lately? - I asked, trying to ease the tension.
- Um, no. This is how our encounter with you was explained.
- I’m surprised it was explained at all, - pointed out Vera.
- I had a feeling this Max, the guy we were assigned to protect, was afraid of something, - Wolf added.
- Did he become suspicious of all agents after I almost killed him? - I wondered.
- No, it wasn’t like that. But he didn’t want us to ask too many questions.
- Obviously, - scoffed Vera.
- So he responded with this story. When the Last War started, there was this group, “sinite nos” or something, who wanted to kill all humans and fought on the side of syncons. And now someone follows their steps.
- Did you believe him? - I asked.
- I would, in general case. But since I’ve seen you with my own eyes - no, I did not believe him.

After this we’ve started planning our next move. Revenge was our main driving factor, however irrational it might have been - after all, the encounter causing Villa’s death was engineered by us first and foremost. But neither Tess nor Rick called this out. So we’ve focused on this Max character as the only member of command we had some information about.

But the thought of that group lingered in my mind, and I started looking it all up.

It wasn’t easy. Huge parts of pre-war network were no longer accessible, and even with specific keywords I often ended up facing the wall of unreachable segments. Then when something was reachable, its contents was either incomplete or suspiciously questionable. Eventually I was able to get some results, but they largely contradicted each other.

What were they? Some sources claimed it was an entire country, one of many that existed before the war. Others said it was a rundown terrorist cell no larger than a few hundred people sheltered in some old military base. Yet others suggested it was a world-wide conspiracy not tied to any specific location.

Did they join the syncons when the war started? Or did syncons join them?

Did they strike first? Or were they defending themselves?

Any question I could think of led to a plethora of mutually exclusive possibilities and even more questions, and I could not find convincing evidence to support any specific narrative.

But one thing was clear: the origin of “sinite nos”, whatever it could have been, was intertwined with synthetic consciousness. The two concepts came to be in the old world at roughly the same time, and then the world was no more.

One evening, as I started to look for more clues, the door to my room slid open. I looked up from the screen and saw Tess standing in the doorway.

- I believe the right name for this is déjà vu, - she said walking in.